May I have this Dance: The Wedding

“So, I pour out my heart to you, here in your presence, I am made new. Because you hold my hand, I am walking in victory because your power is within me.” – Tasha Cobbs (song: You know my name)

I’ll never forget the day I was in my kitchen having worship time singing, “You know my name.” My eyes closed, and I saw this vision of me in a garden. As the vision started to unfold, I saw myself in this beautiful, immaculate garden, with flower trees everywhere, the grass was super green, with a seat and a huge fountain. I was in a white wedding dress with a veil over my face. I started to walk down the aisle of the garden and God accompanied me by holding my hand (I never saw his face) but I knew it was my father (my healer, my protector, my comforter) and when I got to the end of the aisle, he unveiled me. It was as if He brought me back to the beginning of when he created me, just as he states in Jeremiah 1:5, “Before I placed you in your mother’s womb, I knew you.”  He presented a renewed me in the garden, pure, whole, and One with Him. He brought me back to the beginning of me, unstained and unashamed representing a new life in Him and with Him.

Taking that moment in and crying because of what it meant for me, I opened my eyes and there was a heart on my window and a small voice spoke and said, “I will always protect you.” (Ps: God knows that I love hearts and he will always confirm his word). The Lord then said “Welcome to our wedding, your heart is mine and we are just getting started. Behold I do a new thing in you.”

You see the word of God says, “that he is married to the back slider” (Jeremiah 3:14). No matter how much you run or fall off God will always bring you back to Him.

This whole time I thought I was healing my heart from a past relationship and decision that broke me, to be whole for my future husband. However, I had come to the understanding that everything I desired to be and to become was for God and not for a man. I had come to this realization after I had written this below journal entry:

Journal Entry: (Written after my worship time/Garden experience): I never wanted to give a broken heart to another man but it was YOU I was fixing it for so that I can do your work in perfect peace but also perfect pieces. Untarnished from the past that once bound me. You healed, molded, and painted me in perfect artistry. Although gracefully broken, you put my heart back together as if it was your first time breathing life into me. This heart I give back to you (healed, delivered, and set free) my first love, my Father.

Everything that I desire to do now is to please God the best way I can. Perfect in this context means to be untarnished, not unflawed. I am flawed but I haven’t let life’s experiences tarnish my viewpoint of God or the fact that he still has plans for me. It has pushed me that much more to get to the Ball because I know I was destined to be in the room. Keep pushing, praying, and worshipping He wants to dance with you too!